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Frank Lapidis is many things to many people. He once taught a German Shepard how to bark in Russian He once made a weeping willow laugh. He has his cake, and eats it too. His shadow comes in a variety of colors. A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush. He leaps, before he looks. He counts his chickens well before they're hatched. Frank Lapidis once visited the Virgin Islands……now they are just called The Islands. And finally he doesn't think the song is about him, but it probably is.

And while all of this is true, he is still not a candidate.

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